The Joys of Laughter
by Ticklefennec
Summary: Rocket's been through a rough and challenging life. Follow along as he and Quill explore aspects of their lives they didn't know where possible.
1. Introductions

The Joys of Laughter Guardians of the Galaxy Story M/M Rocket Raccoon / Peter Quill Introductions

Rocket sat in the loading bay of the Milano, contemplating all the changes that occurred over the past few months. It all started with him stealing some stupid batteries and ended with them saving the universe again. Along the way their little family both grew and shrank, gaining Kraglin and Mantis, but losing Yondu. That thought still hurt and kept him up at night, the blue man forced Rocket to realize what he almost threw away. He was so lost in thought he didn't even realize he wasn't the only one in the room until they sat next to him.

"Hey, what are you still doing up?", Quill asked sitting down next to the unusually still and quiet raccoon. "I don't think I've ever seen you look like that before".

Rocket looked up in surprise and fumbled on how to answer before the fight just left him and he answered truthfully, "can't sleep. Its already been two weeks but…" Rocket trailed off. "Yondu made me realize more about myself. He helped me come to terms with what I was hiding from you all".

The mention of Yondu left a pang in Quill's heart. Honestly, he wasn't surprised, after all Yondu was why he was up right now too. "Yeah I miss the blue asshole too", Quill trailed off unsure of how to approach the topic. But before he could Rocket looked up at him a strange look in his eyes.

Bracing himself Rocket gathered what little courage he still had and faced the object of his attention. "Quill… there's something I have to tell you. I don't know how to really say this, but I want you to listen to me first, no interruptions" Rockets words dipped into a serious tone.

Despite being confused Rockets tone gave him little room but to nod his head, "Go ahead".

Rocket's nose twitched in nervousness before he drew in a deep breath and let out a shuddery sigh. Looking back into Quills eyes he just confessed, "I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'm feeling things… things I don't understand. I get these little jolts of anger and sadness every time I see you two together. I didn't realize what it meant at first, it didn't happen with Drax, or Groot, or Mantis… just with you" Rocket stopped for a moment taking in a breath for strength before continuing. "I think I might be jealous of Gamora".

Quill sat there for a long while, processing Rockets words. At first, he didn't understand what the raccoon was saying, but as he went on it started to dawn on him the problem. "… Are you saying that you like me Rocket"? The words had an immediate impact on Rocket, his eyes and ears dropping, no longer able to meet Quill's gaze. "aside from Lylla, you're the only person to ever make me feel loved. You call me names like the others do but, I'm starting to realize that you guys really care about me. I've always had to be the biggest thing in the room… because that's how I've always survived. I realized that I don't have to do it anymore".

Quill swallowed before trying to tackle this. When he first came out here, he wasn't expecting to have this heavy heartfelt and emotional conversation. He was about the speak before Rockets first words registered, the name Lylla, Quill was certain Rocket had never mentioned her before. He couldn't help but blurt the thought out, "who is Lylla"?  
Rockets eyes dazed out for a few seconds remembering his life before. "I loved her, …She was the only light I had when I was on Half world" the raccoons' lips trembled. With a shaky breath he continued, "she was an experiment… a slave like I was. We often talked about what we would do when we escaped that hell. She was different than me, she hated her life, she wanted to be a normal animal without the intelligence. She wanted to live her life in the woods next to a river, and back then I would have followed right behind her".

The raccoons' story was almost too much for Quill, the room felt heavy and dark. Rocket had never talked about his past before, never let anyone besides Groot get to close to him. Now he was being compared to Rockets old girlfriend and from what it sounded like his soulmate. His words and thoughts settled heavily in his stomach. His heart gave a painful jerk, reaching out for his mourning friend. "You really loved her… obviously, she isn't her so I…. I'm sorry Rocket".

Rocket fought the tears back and realized he was shaking, "Quill, Lylla's gone… I can look back at those times and realize how naïve I was. Back then I would have given up everything for her, I know I'd have been miserable living in the woods like that… but I would have done it for her" Rocket swallowed and looked away. Painful memories started flashing in his mind and choking him up, he almost got lost again until a warm hand touched his shoulder.

Quill looked down in a mix of sympathy and understanding, the memories of his mother and Yondu dying haunted him too. Without much thought he pulled the distressed raccoon into his arms, hugging him against his chest. In retrospect, this probably wasn't the best way to do this. Only after the fact did Quill realize Rocket could have attacked him, lost in his misery. Instead, though the Raccoon relaxed and buried his muzzle into his neck.

He shook for several moments, his mind and body exhausted after this painful remembrance. Now that the adrenaline was gone, he was left feeling old and tired. He spent several minutes hear listening to Quill's heartbeat and breathing. He let it anchor him to reality, let it ground him from the raging storm in his mind. He didn't know how long they stayed this way; he didn't know if he fell asleep or even if the world outside them had even moved. "I think I'm falling in love with you… and I... I .. I know I can't have you. I don't know what to do. What to say or think or feel. I don't know what to do anymore".

Rockets confession came out of nowhere, the heavy feeling in the room became a suffocating blanket. He had no idea Rocket felt that way, he didn't how long or even when it started. This whole conversation started with Rocket talking about the love of his life, about this Lylla, and now he was telling Quill he loved him. The depressed and desperate tone in Rockets voice was incredibly worrying, Quill could only fathom how the raccoon felt. He was very obviously expecting a heavy rejection, disgust or any number of things really. It seemed like Rocket was at the end of his rope, and unfortunately, Quill didn't know how to help him.

Now that the words where out Rocket felt a strange sensation of numbness. He wanted to die really, his whole life was a continuous series of pain and loss. He already lost Lylla and the original Groot. He lost Yondu and he almost lost all of his fellow guardians. Now he was pathetically shaking and crying in Quill's arms, having just confessed his disgusting sin of having fallen for his human captain. He didn't know if his life could get any worse.

After what seemed like a lifetime Quill processed the depth of the Raccoons suffering. Only now after the dealing with Ego and losing Yondu did Gamora show that she cared about him. Rocket obviously knew they were getting together and had automatically discounted the notion Quill would choose him. It was confusing why he would even confess his feelings at all. Thinking about this rationally, Quill realized he should probably be disgusted. After all, this was a sin on Earth, and even in space Rocket wasn't a very appealing option for most people.

Quill pushed Rocket back a bit and stared into the raccoon's dead eyes. Rocket Idly wondered how Quill would react, so far, he hadn't immediately shot him out the airlock so small miracles there. He was slowly melting into madness when he suddenly felt a soft sensation under his chin and across the edges of his lips. Shocking him back into the real world, in a spiraling rush, he realized Quill was actually kissing him. "I… I don't understand" the lost and confused voice was painful to hear; Quill had never heard it sound so small.

"There was a lot of way worse creatures that I've slept with over the years. Many different races and genders and on many different planets; I think what I feel for Gamora is what you felt for Lylla. They completed us" he trailed off for a moment before changing gears. "I think you're starved for love. I'm not saying your feelings aren't real, not at all, but I also think you've never got to experience real love. Out of all the guardians, not counting Mantis, you're the loneliest. Aside from Gamora, you're the only other one who really understands me. We'll need to talk with Gams in the morning but for now, I want you to come with me to bed. You're exhausted and I don't want you sleeping alone tonight".

Rocket looked like he was struggling to process Quill's words, he was torn from the kiss and wasn't certain what was going on, "I'm sleeping with you? But Gamora's already in there".

Quill turned back around and gently picked Rocket up off the ground, giving him another series of kisses along his jawline. "I know that's why we'll talk to her in the morning. Come on it's late, let's go to bed". Quill walked all the way to his room in complete silence.

Just as Quill reached forward to open his door Rockets voice asked one more question, "I thought you loved Gamora, how can you love me too?" the silence was almost deafening. Quill gave a small huff and smiled down at Rocket, "You can love more than one person Rocket. Just like how you love me and Lylla, I can love both you and Gamora" and with that, he walked into his room the door shutting behind them.


	2. Needing Some Comfort

The Joys of Laughter Guardians of the Galaxy Story F/M Rocket Raccoon/ Gamora Needing Some Comfort Rocket sat quietly on Quill's bed, a dazed and lost expression on his face. After their talk last night, Quill had brought him into the bedroom he shared with Gamora. The following morning, he unsuccessfully tried to coax Rocket to talk, but after a while, he seemed to give up and left. Being alone there, Rocket lost himself in his memories of Lylla and of his time before Groot.A sudden depression on his left had him nearly jumping out of his fur. Wild eyes shot over expecting it to be Quill, but to his surprise, he saw Gamora instead.

"You were out of it," she said. "You didn't respond when I knocked, and you didn't even twitch when I entered the room." She waited a few moments, giving Rocket time to absorb her words. "Peter told me about his meeting with you last night."

Rocket turned on her, a strange sensation bubbling in his chest, one that was different than last night. "Of course, he did. I bet he just blabbed about me, didn't he? I don't need to be pitied. I hate pity!" Rocket grabbed his ears in frustration. "I should have never told him a damn thing," Rocket growled, angry words spewing from his lips.

"Rocket, please," she said. "He didn't tell me anything, I don't know what you two discussed last night. Peter only told me how you were feeling. And I get it Rocket. I know how it feels to have your life taken from you".  
"How could you?!" Rocket exploded. "you're not some krutackin' monster! You had a mother and father and aren't some spawn from a tube in a lab! I'm not supposed to be this way. I'm supposed to be a dumb, instinct-driven animal, yet here I am, walking and talking like a freak." It looked like Rocket would continue, but Gamora was quicker.

"You have no idea how wrong you are," Gamora spoke. Her words though not shouted, carried around the room as if she had, and Rocket stilled. "You're right - I had parents once. I was taken from them, ripped from my world by a monster, a real monster. He slaughtered my people, kidnapped me, and used me as a weapon. I'm a murderer, Rocket, one that indiscriminately killed and destroyed the lives of thousands of people. I sat there and watched, as that monster tore my sister apart, as he punished her for not being perfect - for not being me. If there's anyone on this ship who doesn't deserve to live, it's me."

Rocket stared at her, his expression a mix of fear and shock. He tried to speak again, but for once his tongue failed him. He watched as she stood up and pulled out a small dagger, balancing it on her finger. "He told me that I was special, that I would be one of the few who would help him bring about a new universe, one that is perfectly balanced. Because of him, I spent my entire life believing I was irredeemable, that I deserved to die, that I was a monster. Until I met Peter. Until I met you and Drax, and Groot. You guys gave my life meaning again. So yes, I know damn well what you're going through".

Rocket was speechless. He didn't know what to think anymore. Gamora had told them about this before, that she was irredeemable, that she deserved to die for the sins of her past. That she was forced to be something she didn't want. To think that he had a part in making her happy, he didn't know what to say.

"Peter loves you. And no matter what you are to him, you're important. Don't forget, Peter lost his mother and father too. He was taken away from his home and forced to be a Ravager. He didn't have much of a say in his life either." She knelt down and gently grabbed Rocket's hands. "You deserve to live. Remember that all of us carry scars from our past. If someone like me deserves a chance, then so do you. Give yourself that chance."

Though the touch stunned him, Rocket couldn't muster the will to bite her. Just like with Quill, Gamora seemed to love him. She didn't even know his past, yet she still lowered herself to this. He tried to calm his racing heart. It hurt, and he didn't know what he was supposed to do. Love had always been a painful thing. All his life was spent trying to run away from it, because of how much it hurt. "What if I don't end up loving you the way I do Quill," he managed to croak out.

"That's fine. How you wish to love me is something only you can decide. Remember, Peter is my first love too, so I don't have any more experience with this than you do. If you find that you can share your heart with Peter and me, then I'll accept it. If not, then I'll be your friend, your sister, or your teammate. But no matter what choice you make, you will have my support".

Rocket felt exhausted again. It wasn't even noon, and he was already just as tired as he had been last night. It was wearing him thin, all the emotional talk breaking him down. He suddenly realized he was shaking like a leaf, as the whole situation finally seemed to dawn on him. And just as suddenly, he broke. All the years of loneliness and pain had worn him down, and he was unable to contain his tears. A warm feeling pooled in his belly as Gamora reached over and pulled him into a hug. Shivering, he threw his arms around her neck. A broken and choked cry tore from his muzzle as he buried it into Gamora's neck and sobbed.  



End file.
